Of intangible fates and wishes
by Izzu
Summary: Louis's life started to change the moment his path crosses with Legosi's. But just as his life took a drastic turn from bad, worse and better again; Legosi's took on the opposite direction. Yet a part of him wished he could do something to make up for it.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Posted this on AO3 so might as well put it here. And since this was mostly based on the plot in the manga, if you just started the series from the anime then... spoiler warnings.

* * *

"Louis!"

"Louis-senpai!"

He turned around, just as he reached his dorm building to see both Haru and Juno running towards him.

"Oh, it's you two—"

"Senpai, what happened to your antlers?"

"Did you pull them off early again?"

Juno turned towards Haru in horror as Louis just shrugged at them.

"Ah, they fell off without warning. I expected it to happen a bit later but—anyway, what's up with both of you?"

Haru made a distraught face as Juno gave him a concerned look.

"It's Legosi-senpai!"

"He's being admitted to the hospital!"

It was too much to handle, especially considering his earlier ordeal at the Shishigumi hideout that Louis could only react in shock.

"WHAT?"

xxx

He couldn't believe what he's seeing right now. Just when he thought he shouldn't be worrying about Legosi, this had to happen.

No wonder his leg acted up so badly last night...

"Oh? Visitors? I didn't expect any to come today..."

He could barely hear Haru and Juno let out a soft gasp as he turned around to greet the newcomer. The girls started huddling behind him cautiously as Louis's eyes fell on the old Komodo dragon in front of him.

"Ah, you must be Legosi's grandfather!" he exclaimed as he could feel Haru and Juno's stares directed towards him from behind. He barely remembered this bit of detail on Legosi, when the club advisor gave the personal details to him when they first got Legosi to join their drama club. Regardless, he couldn't believe his eyes!

He could see the _close_ resemblance between Legosi and his grandfather, especially in the eyes. He was reminded of the reason why he used to be so frustrated with Legosi, for not behaving like how a carnivore—a normal wolf—should behave. But perhaps he shouldn't have faulted Legosi so much considering that his half reptilian blood would've resulted in him having such a reserved attitude. Coupled up with Legosi's uncommon height, which was most likely influenced by his komodo dragon heritage.

The old man's face broke into a wide smile, making his heart start breaking a little as it made him think of the way Legosi used to smile at him.

"Oh? Did Legosi told his friends about me?" asked the old Komodo dragon as Louis shook his head. He gave both Haru and Juno a knowing look before shrugging.

"No, he didn't. But I've read his file when he first joined the school's drama club before."

"Oh, I see..." He could see the old man's face changed from dismay to understanding in a blink of an eye. "Well, it's expected. It's hard enough when his mother had to keep her mixed lineage a secret when she was at his age, so it might be complicated for him to tell anyone about this."

The old man suddenly broke into a burst of awkward laughter. "What am I doing? The name's Gosha anyway," he introduced himself as he offered his hand towards Louis, Haru as well as Juno.

xxx

"So, what really happened to Legosi?" asked Louis.

Haru and Juno had already left for the day; and while he also should be heading back to his own dorm as well, he stayed behind to confront the old man. Because it couldn't just be a coincidence. The painful sensation on his leg the other night, the things he found out at the Shishigumi hideout as well as this.

_There's no way that it was not connected!_

And what were the odds that two shooting incidents would happen at the same time with only one being mentioned on the news?

That said, he was aware how at times the authorities would even _intentionally_ cover up an incident and justifying it as being necessary to 'preserve the peace'.

Gosha gave him a knowing smile. "Not the type to be easily fooled, huh?" said the old man before returning to his chair. Louis did the same.

The old man sighed. "It's because of that brat Yafya. He couldn't get me to help him out so he went after Legosi."

Louis blinked at the old man. That was easy, he thought. He assumed that the old man would be suspicious of him or be wary, but he's quick to tell him the truth. Also, for someone who could call the sublime Beastar a brat, that man couldn't possibly just be an ordinary person.

Gosha smiled again. "Surprised, aren't you? To think that I'd just be honest with you and tell you this because you asked."

The old Komodo dragon shrugged. "Looking at that leg of yours, I can tell that you're no ordinary student yourself and that you had your own story behind it." The old man cocked his head at him. "So what happened for you to get that?"

Louis widened his eyes at Gosha before looking down, slightly self-conscious. Even when he's not looking at the old Komodo dragon anymore he could tell that the old man was still waiting for his answer.

"I told Legosi to eat it," Louis started to say. A gasp. And he continued explaining. "Some time ago, there was a predation incident in Cherryton and the culprit was still unidentified. Legosi had been investigating it when I failed to do so."

Louis glanced up to see Gosha paying him close attention. "Later on he found out the identity of the guy, it's a bear from our drama club."

Louis shrugged. "Legosi told me about his plan of confronting the guy to make him confess. I was involved in something else at the time—but long story short, by the time I arrived at the place Legosi was in pretty bad shape. I manage to save him but Legosi—even in his condition he still wanted to continue fighting. "

Louis paused for a moment as he tried to keep his emotions checked. "I could tell that if he went back to fight the guy he'll... he'll definitely die. So... I told him to—"

"Eat your leg?" asked Gosha as Louis nodded.

"So..." Louis glanced up towards Gosha in confusion. "I assumed that it turned out well?"

Louis frowned at him before nodding his answers again. "Yeah. The underclassman was apprehended by the cops and the case was closed. But it still meant that Legosi committed a crime and... he later dropped out of school."

"But Legosi was still alive, wasn't he?"

Louis stared at the old man as Gosha shrugged. "Thank you for saving my grandson's life. I can see how much you care about my grandson."

Louis turned his eyes towards the bed next to them. "What's the point of that now, when that dumb dog was still lying there? How could the idiot kept getting himself in trouble all the time?"

He felt a hand patting his shoulder as Gosha tried to reassure him.

"Legosi is a strong grey wolf. He should be able to overcome this," Gosha gave him a reassuring smile before shrugging. "Besides, he had a bit of my blood in him so he shouldn't easily give up on his life."

xxx

Louis got up from his bed and headed to the bathroom that was connected to his room. He stared at his reflection in the mirror before running his hand over his head.

His antlers were growing much slower than they usually do. Louis let out a sigh.

Guess Legosi's situation was weighing on his mind much more than he initially thought. He turned on the showers after taking off his clothes.

Then again, there's also the situation with the Shishigumi. How could he not be worrying so much?

He could never imagine that the incident he heard at the hideout had any relation to Legosi. And to think that Legosi even got himself involved with a Beastar...

Louis absent-mindedly lathered his body with a few pumps of the body soap.

He never thought that Gosha used to be a candidate for the title of Beastar, even more, that he was once close with Yafya. He read that Yafya during his early years had a partner by his side, but he didn't expect that it was Legosi's grandfather!

Guess that explained why Legosi acted so subdued at school. Because of his mixed lineage—even if he was still one-forth komodo dragon—Legosi must've been super aware of how he wasn't quite like any other pure-blooded grey wolf. And having Gosha as his grandfather, he must've learnt by example that he should restrain himself and keep his carnivorous tendencies under wraps in order to avoid confrontations as well as to protect himself. Louis's mouth twitched as he turned off the showers and proceeded to dry himself.

Louis put on his clothes before packing up his bag for his lessons.

How weird was it that he's still comfortably living his life normally while Legosi—!

Louis closed his eyes as he silently put out a prayer.

_"Please wake up, you dumb wolf! Don't you dare die over something like this!"_

* * *

A/N2: This muse started because I wanted to write about a certain Louis-Legosi interaction that I wanted to see. But then after rereading the related chapters I realised that some parts didn't quite fit so I'm moving the timeline a bit earlier. And I guess it's for the best. Also, I feel like I need to keep writing so that I wouldn't get hit too hard with writer's block.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been two days, and Legosi was still in a coma. And his antlers were not faring well either.

Louis lifted a finger and started poking on Legosi's cheek. "Oi. Are you still not coming back from your picnic? Wake up, you idiot!"

He came here as soon as his last lesson ended for the day. His right leg kept giving him odd sensations but at least it hadn't been hurting badly for a while. He hoped that meant that Legosi was still trying his best to cling to his life, but seeing him on this bed was just making him uneasy. Do all gunshot victims stay unconscious for _this_ long?

Louis turned his eyes towards the door as Gosha still haven't come back. The old man told him that Legosi's old dormmates and the drama club members came to visit the other day. The thought made him happy somewhat, that there were others who cared about Legosi as much as him.

He snorted at that. Then again, how could anyone not be taken by this idiot?

Louis sighed. He used to not care about these things before but look at him now. He changed so much, and it's this dumb dog's fault!

"Seriously wake up, you idiot!" he snapped again as Louis continued poking his finger on Legosi's cheek.

The door behind him creaked open. Gosha-san must've come back from his lunch...

"Pardon my intrusion..."

Louis turned around at the unfamiliar voice as he was greeted with the sight of a very tall black horse in front of him. Yafya.

"Oh," Yafya gasped. "Gosha's not here."

Louis turned away as he started fiddling with Legosi's arm. "Gosha-san went out for some break earlier."

"I see."

Louis let out a soft sigh. Had this be a different situation, he would've been thrilled to finally be able to meet the esteemed Beastar. Yet right now Louis could only feel this heavy weight in the pit of his stomach.

So this was the asshole that made Legosi become like this. Yafya could've used the possibility of having his criminal records wiped out to get Legosi to do what he wanted from him. Such an underhanded tactic that he could imagine someone like him to use against Legosi.

"I didn't expect to see you here with this kid. Especially considering the _history_ between you two."

Louis got up to his feet as he turned to face Yafya. Even if he couldn't beat the man in terms of height, at least he could show Yafya his pride as a deer. Regardless of the current state of his antlers right now.

"Why not? Legosi is one of my precious underclassmen and a good friend. Why won't I be here by his bedside?"

He thought he heard a snicker coming from the man as he spoke.

"So you really offered your own leg to that wolf. I thought it was just an excuse the kid made up."

"Of course," Louis answered boldly. "It was the least I could do in order to protect my important friend."

"You're really clinging hard on this herbivore-carnivore relationship between the two of you, aren't you? You really believed in the idea of mutual coexistence of the two species?"

Louis gritted his teeth. "Indeed. And I can clearly see how it would be possible for that to happen."

"Really—?" Yafya started to say before Gosha come barging in suddenly and glaring daggers at him.

"You wanted to see me, didn't you? Let's talk outside."

As the two adults headed out of the room, Louis let out a cry.

That was a tense situation.

xxx

He didn't manage to free some time between classes and club activities for the day enough to allow him to pay another visit to the hospital. And that alone was enough to assault his mind with worry.

It was already a week and Legosi's conditions still haven't improved. No matter how positive Gosha-san had been before, even _he_ would've started to get worried by now.

Louis let out a sigh before shoving a boxful of equipment towards the corner of the storage area. Since he wasn't in any situation where he could ditch practice or tutorials any longer, he kept occupying himself to doing the menial tasks all over the clubroom. Despite that, he still couldn't keep his mind off Legosi. And even when he wasn't thinking of Legosi, his mind would've still ended up hovering towards the lions from Shishigumi.

Were they doing fine? They looked skinnier the last time he saw them, and he couldn't even fault them considering the situation those guys were currently facing over there.

Louis hastily shook his head. _Stop worrying too much over those carnivores!_ He scolded himself. Or else even his antlers would also remain in a sorry condition!

His phone suddenly rang and Louis wondered if today was his bad luck day...

xxx

Louis had a sudden urge to just fly out of his university compound even when it's already past curfew time.

Where on earth did Legosi go? If he'd just woken up from his coma, he should've just stayed in his hospital room and wait for the doctors to come to check on him. What kind of patient could just... suddenly decide to walk out of his hospital room and compounds without telling anyone? Especially when he's been bedridden for a week?

It just had to be Legosi to be doing something like this, right? Why couldn't he even be surprised?

Louis stepped out of the building as his attention turned towards the sky. _Oh, it's a full moon tonight._

If he recalled correctly, on nights like this the event called Deep Night should be held somewhere in the city...

_What were the odds of Legosi ended up going to that kind of night market?_

His phone rang again, and Louis heard Gosha's voice talking to him again from the other side. They found Legosi.

Just when he was about to let out a sigh of relief, Gosha told him where he ended up finding his grandson. Louis ended the call before slowly pressing the side of his head in frustration.

_"That idiot wolf!"_


	3. Chapter 3

"It's me. I'll help you guys. I'm heading your way but in return..." Louis gritted his teeth, "I want all of you guys to comfort me for the whole night!"

_**"**_**Ah, aa... okay, all right!" **For some reason, hearing Agata's voice filled him with fond feeling. Not sure why though.

Then again, considering how deadbeat most of the carnivore students were at his university, the lions were like a breath of fresh air. And after having to deal with a meat-drunk carnivore earlier, it sure was nice to talk to a carnivore that didn't sound like a brain-dead zombie. Even if they might still be high on silvervine at times.

**"Um... did you get into some trouble with a girl?"**

Louis stopped walking, just as he reached the subway station. He stared at the phone he was still holding. He didn't realize that he was still in the middle of a call. Louis's mind immediately went back towards that awful night with Azuki. Ugh, not something that he wanted to recall right now!

He hastily shook his head, not that Agata could see it.

"Ah, no—! What're you talking about?"

**"But just now, you were talking about being comforted..."**

Louis tried to resist the urge to shout at the phone.

_Yeah right. It's because of you guys I haven't been feeling well these past few days. Well, there's that other guy too_—Louis bit his lips. _Stay calm, don't lose your composure._

Louis took in a long breath.

Well, the part about trouble with a girl was kinda correct but right now it was his own pride that was in a jeopardy. But as if Agata needed to hear that! And if the other lions heard about his dilemma he wouldn't hear the end of this!

"Idiot! There's nothing of that sort!"

**"Oh, there's another thing... someone tried to pick a fight with Melon earlier—and uh, you need to see for yourself about it."**

Louis rolled his eyes at the air as he took the train towards the old districts. Well, since he was on the way to help the lions anyway, he might as well deal with this other problem.

"Fine!"

xxx

Louis rolled his eyes. Just when he thought he could lessen the amount of headache he was feeling right now...

_You gotta be serious._

He thought that after barely surviving a near-death situation, Legosi would at least start to grow a brain cell. Or more like, learn to ACTUALLY use it properly.

WHAT ON EARTH WAS THAT DAMN DOG DOING STANDING BESIDE THE LIONS? What about the whole thing about not showing his face in front of any of the Shishigumi members because of their past enmity?

Louis felt as if his blood pressure would rise tenfold just by seeing that stupid face in front of him.

After about a week in a coma, a normal person would've begun thinking that they should play it safe for a while... or something. Reflect on their life or reevaluating their life choices...

_Considering that he had almost died before, Legosi should've just laid low for a while... but would he really LISTEN to anyone?_

_NOooo! Not our Legosi no! He's too damn high and mighty to live a peaceful life, oh no!_

Perhaps he's hung out with the lions for too long after all. Since the lions seemed to have sensed his agitation and started rushing towards him and talking all at the same time to the point that Louis had a hard time picking up on what they said.

Free started draping his arm over him and going all chummy as the others were also fighting to get his attention. Guess Agata DID inform the others of his demands, well that's good. But GAWD! They're all such big overgrown cats! He didn't recall them being so clingy to him THIS much before!

But ironically, he did start to feel better already (WHAT THE HELL?) but why must the lions do this to him now? In front of Legosi to top it all?

It's the fault of these stupid carnivores that he'd grown to be so fond of them to the point that even listening to the hate-mongering specist speech by some carnivore-hating herbivores made him sick to the pit of his stomach!

Louis sighed before running his hand over his face.

_I really have... gone crazy._

xxx

"Could you introduce them to me?"

"Them?" he gasped before turning towards them.

Was it just him or the lions suddenly looked as if they were posing for some magazine? Were they expecting _him_ to sing praises at them to make them look cool in front of Legosi?

He stared at the lions a bit fondly. In an unexpected twist, these lions had become close to somewhat being like an extended family to him. Even more, than Oguma ever could be. It'd be nice if Ibuki was still around as well but... these lots were as good as he could get.

BUT AS IF HE'S GONNA TELL LEGOSI ALL OF THIS!

Louis made an incredulous face at Legosi. "They're LIONS! NOTHING MORE!"

That prompted the lions to start exclaiming their species names and other sorts of other things as Louis sighed.

_Fine, if you guys wanted to be introduced to this idiot I'll do that anyway..._

Louis shrugged as he started introducing the lions one by one.

_What's this atmosphere? This was not a social mixer OH MY GOD!_


	4. Chapter 4

_Hehe, finally it's the point where I gonna take a bit of creative liberty. So there may be things that may or may not be quite canon XD_

* * *

_"Let's go... the Kopi Luwak base should be in this direction..."_

They started walking through the back alley market with Jimma leading the group. As the lions led the procession, Louis took this opportunity to walk side by side with Legosi.

He let out a soft sigh as he eyed the wolf silently. It's been a while... a really long while, since the first time he actually tried to get to know the wolf properly. Since prior to last year, he only ever watched over Legosi passively, never really interacted with him despite the fact that the two of them had been part of the drama club for several years.

_Ah... it's been a long time._

Legosi was originally scouted by the drama club advisor to be part of the actors' team. But since the young wolf had no interest to be in the limelight and prefers to work behind the scenes, he ended up being assigned to the stage crew team.

Louis had always thought that _that_ was a shame.

Legosi had the heights, looks and can be quite expressive with his whole body. Added with his unique mixed heritage, it would have been interesting if they could put on a stageplay that can highlight that trait of his. Louis used to get annoyed at the fact that Legosi never tried to make use of the 'assets' that he had.

But then the incident during the Adler play happened and despite how he hadn't planned for Legosi to be cast last minute to replace Bill's role, Louis ended up seeing a glimpse of Legosi's _talent_.

He saw how the other students were taken in by Legosi's appearance and almost wished to be able to perform on stage with the wolf again. In another play, and without any kind of unexpected problems. Though to be fair, Legosi might not turn out to be a good actor in terms of acting skill (he WAS merely acting by his own rage over the rabbit blood fiasco after all) but the wolf was still a natural. He had also noticed how, ever since then everyone at school started to take notice of Legosi. And after Legosi saved Haru from Shishigumi last time, he wouldn't be surprised if Legosi's popularity would increase even more.

Legosi could've ended up becoming much more influential than him in Cherryton. And that was something, that he probably wouldn't mind happening even if he didn't end up getting himself involved with the Shishigumi lions.

He smiled weakly. Legosi could've had that kind of life (even if the damn wolf wouldn't care much about it) but he ruined that. Because he asked Legosi to eat his right foot, the wolf ended up with a criminal record despite the fact doing so allowed them to capture Riz. And following that outcome, Legosi quitted school.

_"Thank you for saving Legosi's life."_

Did he though? Or did he ruined Legosi's life instead?

What has he done to this idiot? It felt as if the moment he got himself involved with Legosi their fates kept clashing with each other. He thought of the incident during the New Year's Eve and the other events before and after that. He remembered how Legosi once told him how his words had shaped him, leading him to become who he was right now. Legosi has changed so much... and he couldn't help feeling that it was (mainly) his fault that it happened.

Like how because of Legosi that he started to have a certain 'interest' in the carnivores, Louis felt that Legosi's 'fetish' towards the herbivores was mostly because of him. And perhaps Haru too.

Ironic also, considering that he had his own history with Haru as well.

In a way, both of them were like mirrors of each other. And he's not sure if THAT was something good or not.

Louis thought about his initial intention about wanting to gain the title of Beastar. Because of his past, he had wanted to gain enough strength for himself so that he could change his fate. Yet, after a taste of reality at his own inability to save Haru and losing everything afterwards, he gave up on that dream.

Meanwhile, Legosi who has never even thought about attaining that Beastar title, had shown time by time to have had the qualities of a Beastar in him. Yet, rather than aiming towards that title, he's just content to remain existing in such a mediocre life.

Well, since before this Legosi had remained in the shadows and obscurity for a while anyway, this shouldn't be a surprise.

Yet, Louis felt that Legosi _deserved better_.

After all, it was Legosi who changed him for the better. And he felt that it might even be possible for Legosi to change their society for the better.

He once gave up on his dream of becoming a Beastar. Yet afterwards, he regained a new motivation to reach that goal. He wanted to become a Beastar to change the way their current society worked. He wanted to create a world where carnivores and herbivores could **truly** live together in harmony.

He wanted to attain the title of Beastar... _with Legosi_. Wonder if he could ever attain that wish?

Louis's prosthetic leg suddenly caught on something as he started to stumble. But his fall was cut short as strong arms caught him just in time.

"Are you all right, Louis-senpai?"

Louis glanced up around see Legosi's face staring at him worriedly. "Was your leg hurting?"

He turned his face away immediately before righting himself, frantically hoping that Legosi couldn't see him blush in the dark.

"It's nothing. I wasn't really paying attention, that's all."

He started walking faster ahead of Legosi before his face smashed onto Miguel's back.

"What the—" he started to ask as the lions started bickering.

"Did you forget the way, Jimma?"

"Pooh! Don't act like you're so smart!" snapped the oldest of the lions before scratching his head. "But that's weird. Which way was Kopi Luwak again?"

Louis let out a soft snort.

_Ah, these guys..._


End file.
